10/20/08 News in 5 Seconds

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The Good Samaritan for Obama

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The Parable of the Good Samaritan goes like this: A guy gets mugged and stripped naked. He's left on the side of the road. A priest and a Levite pass him by, but a Samaritan stops to help him. This was a radical tale for Jesus to tell because Samaritans were like the Muslims of the 1st century. They were distrusted and hated by the majority religion. Obama leads Democrats (the donkey) to help the poor. It was like a an American boy getting mugged, and having Jerry Falwell and Sarah Palin walk past him, and then an al Qaeda Muslim stops to help. Obama is not a Muslim, but he is in the minds of those to whom it would matter. (like people who watch Fox News ) Each of us has our own excuse for walking past the poor. It's our money. They deserve what they get. They're lazy and will take advantage of us. But Obama gets it. I'll let him speak for himself: "If there's a child on the south side of Chicago who can't read, that matters to me, even if it's no...
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Don't Sweat It

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"Body Odor" was first coined in 1933 by the makers of Lifebuoy soap. People have always smelled, but a fear of our own scent was thrust upon us by corporations. But I wondered if maybe some people had body odor that didn't stink, but rather smelled pleasant. I remember reading that Alexander the Great had yummy B.O. I haven't showered today. So body odor has come to mind. But I think I smell good. Not a cologne or deodorant good, but sweet, a scent that my own body produces, or more likely, a scent that the bacteria on my body produces. Someone should make a bacteria-based deodorant. The microbes would eat your sweat and dead skin, and emit cologne or perfume. The only problems I could see: The bacteria gets out of control and starts eating our skin. The bacteria causes explosive diarrhea when eaten. The bacteria produces too much scent, and makes you smell like a prostitute. The bacteria scares people, so they don't buy it. We may need only apply it once. I...
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