Why you’ll never have a vampire boyfriend.

1. You taste like chicken

2. For immortals, dating anyone under 100 is considered pedophilia.

3. He's been around a long time, so unless you’ve read every book in the world, your opinion and worldview will sound like the squawkings of a brain-damaged chicken. Which will remind him that you taste like chicken.

Please add your own reasons in the comments.

Comments

  1. Nicholas James WestDecember 10, 2008 at 5:21 PM

    I think you about covered it.

    Oh yeah, and vampires are soulless freaks that think of mankind as cattle, or chicken rather.

    You may not want a vamp boyfriend in the first place.
    1) They smell like dirt and mold
    2) They have human-blood in their mouth's (you could catch a blood transmitted pathogen).
    3) They have animal blood in their mouths- even better!

    ReplyDelete
  2. kathyDecember 11, 2008 at 11:21 AM

    Wait. You're not a vampire?

    ReplyDelete

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